Wednesday 27 April 2016

#IAmAReason

I am a reason because it took me over a year to get an appointment with a psychiatrist through the public health system.
I am a reason because after one appointment with that psychiatrist I had to wait another 4 months to see a professional again and it wasn't even the same doctor.

I am a reason because I feel let down by my country, my government, my TD's.

I am a reason because my self harm scars are there for life.

I am a reason because SUSI wouldn't give me the grant I was rightfully owed because 'mental illness is not covered in medical leave.' They told me I 'was not sick enough.' They deemed being suicidal and dealing with issues of self harm as 'not sick enough'. Would this have been the case if I'd broken a limb?

I am a reason because I was scared to approach my new employers to inform them of my mental illness in case they thought that meant I wasn't able to do my job to the best of my abilities.

I am a reason because I struggle to sleep at night but I won't get sleeping tablets because I don't trust myself with them.

I am a reason because I feel like a burden all of the time.

I am a reason because I was labelled a drama queen by my friends, it was easier for them to belittle my emotions than help me.

I am a reason because my family was torn apart by my Uncle Michael's suicide.
I am a reason because my friend Cormac saw no other way out and took his own life.
I am a reason because the agony of watching friends and family grieve over suicide is unbearable.

I am a reason because I'm just another statistic in the system, I don't matter on a larger scale.

I am a reason because my voice is not loud enough to change anything so that others can get help.

I am a reason because I was applauded for losing weight, eating disorders don't count if you're not thin.

I am a reason because my teachers labelled it a 'phase' at a parent/teacher meeting.

I am a reason because 3 out of 4 of my immediate family are currently on anti-depressants or have been on them in the past.

I am a reason because needing medication is still seen as a weakness.

I am a reason because I'm crying as I type this.

I am a reason because I had to drop out of college due to my mental illness. I couldn't get out of bed most days. Every day was just breakdown after breakdown.

I am a reason because why would anyone bother asking for help when they're not going to get it?

I am a reason because budget cuts are more important than lives.



We are all reasons and we all matter. We shouldn't need to justify our own right to adequate healthcare. We deserve better from those in charge.