Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Hernias Are Shit.

Please, please forgive me for being entirely AWOL for the last while, things have been hectic to say the least.

I had to go get a gastroscopy (which is the camera down into your stomach in case you didn't already know because I did not know until my doctor explained it to me). It was supposed to be a relatively quick in'n'out deal, they said I'd be ready to go home about 1pm but unfortunately my bladder went on strike and I couldn't wee in a jar for them. After 3 hours of day time television and constant supervision from all the nurses, they gave up and put me on a drip. One litre of fluids later et voila, an adequate urine sample. I've never had so many people rejoice over my pee before and to be honest, I kind of liked it! I'm considering hiring those nurses to congratulate me every time I pee. In the end I was only going down to the procedure room at half 1 so I didn't get to go home until nearly 6pm.

They found a lil hernia at the top of my stomach as well as some bacteria thing (I don't remember why the bacteria is a bad one, I was spaced out on anaesthesia when the doctor was explaining all of this). So I was put on all this medication and an antibiotic, the nurse told me it was going to be a rough ride because the side effects are awful but holy shit it's been so much worse than a 'rough ride'.

I'm on day 8 or 9 (I think) and it's a 10 day course of medication so the end is nigh near. Thus far, I have had;
- extreme nausea
- a constant tight pain around where my diaphragm is, gets a million times worse when I eat
- a constant taste of metal in my mouth, it's like I can taste blood and it's so fucking gross
- insanely bad tremors, my whole body convulses and all my muscles spasm
- blurred vision
- clammy hands (relatively small scale but it's still uncomfortable)
- zero appetite
- I'm tired all day every day (I'm a sleepy person normally but this is taking the piss)
- my pee is a weird colour despite me drinking a load of water every day (TMI? I don't care)
- hot and cold sweats
- my brain feels like it's made of cotton wool and I can't focus on anything

Sounds like a load of shit right? It is. Avoid getting a hernia at all costs because they're not fun at all.

On the bright side, I've saved a lot of petrol money this week because I couldn't go to college, during this extra time I did some online shopping and found the perfect dress for my Christmas work party and I've found a new Aziz Ansari show to be obsessed with (Master of None, watch it and thank me later).

That required more concentration that I can muster so I'll leave it at that, I promise I won't take nearly as long to put up another post once I'm back to normal!